falling apart
by saquin
Summary: inuyasha is caught in the act and kagome runs away angry. please read and review
1. ch1 'so unperfect'

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the Inuyasha characters.

Hello! How long has it been? I'm sorry I didn't get these things posted. First I caught the flu and then my computer got sick (got a virus…) so I had to get a new one and save all the things that the virus didn't destroy on floppy disks. And believe me it's a pain in the ass. If you've had it happen I now know how you feel. I hope it doesn't happen again. Viruses are the worst things to web surfers and authors. They eat up your memory and kill your files. Such a shame. I'm more upset about my computer than I am of my self if u haven't noticed. OK well here's the first chapter of_ falling apart._

Enjoy!

Ch.1 'so unperfect .'

Kagome chews on her pencil, watching the birds outside as the teacher writes note on the chalkboard.

"Kagome! Are you listening and copying these notes down!"

She jumps out of her seat a little bit.

"Yes! Um… Yes I am"

"Good, you've missed a lot of school I wouldn't be slacking off if I were you."

"Yes sir."

She stares down at her blank sheet of paper. 'What's the use?' After school she walks with her friends home, leaving them as she turns the corner to the shrine. 'Tests? School? Friends? Demons? Naraku? Why should I care any more? There's nothing, nothing but emptiness. We are so close though! We're so close to finishing the Shikon no Tama and defeating Naraku…But… I don't think I want to anymore. What's the point? When we first began, it was fun. There was never a dull moment and now look, I'm sitting her thinking this over when I should already know the answer. I should want to finish this and be happy once were done. But why am I not? I don't want to leave them. When we finish collecting the jewel shards I will just have to go back to my old life. What else? What will happen to them? Will I lose my closest friends in the world?'

Dead leaves crunch under her feet as she walks up the street. A gust of wind blows the leaves against her ankles, and plays with her skirt. Kagome walks slowly up the stairs to the shrine, stopping at every step to turn around yet not finding a good reason or place to run to.

How could she just abandon her friends? How could she keep her family away from home when this was all done with? The thought that she couldn't was the most frightening thought that floated about her mind at the moment yet she still walked on and into her house. She throws her book bag down on the coach.

"When's dinner going to be done?"

"In about an hour and a half."

"OK…I'm going to the park for a little bit, I promise to make it back before dinner OK?"

"All right, but were a jacket its getting chilly outside."

"Yes mom."

Kagome takes the jacket out of the closet and dashes outside, running as fast as her legs can carry her to down the steps and around the corner to the park. 'Why am I running? I have an hour. I'm such an idiot sometimes.' She slows her pace down to a fast walk as she enters the park.

It's empty, like a deserted forest where animals refuse to live. The wind makes the leaves swirl around in a crazy frenzy as Kagome walks threw and sits down on the fountain's edge. She circles her fingertips on the water edge, making ripples in the water.

"They fade away…" she says sorrowfully as she watches the ripples fade back into the water.

"What would happen if I faded away? Or what if the others faded away? What would be come of them or me afterward? Would everything just end?"

A leaf falls from the tree and lands in Kagome's lap. She picks it up and examines it for a couple seconds before twirling it around between her pointer finger and thumb. Frowning, she places it lightly on the water surface, making it float around on the water.

A small droplet of water falls on the leaf followed by other small ones, gradually getting bigger as the sprinkling continues. Kagome holds out her hands as if to fell the rain before standing up.

"Rain?"

She starts walking back but doesn't make it out of the park before it starts to pour down. Running Kagome tries to make it to her house before the weather gets any worse. Her foot slips on the wet pavement causing her to hit the ground hard, scratching her legs and arms.

'I have to make it back home, I still have time.' She thinks trying to get up once more. After discovering she won't get home in time Kagome ducks in a bus stop, to wait out the storm. Minutes go by but the rain shows no sign of slowing down, instead it rains harder flooding the streets and side walks.

'Its so cold…why today? Why couldn't this all happen on a different day?' hugging her coat close to her Kagome closes her eyes and tries to concentrate on only the sound of the rain. Suddenly Kagome opens her eyes and dashes from the bus stop heading for her home. Water soaks her shoes and socks, drenching her body as she continues to thrust her legs in front of her. 'I have to…keep running, and then when I get there…I can go back and make everything right…I'm sick of waiting around…nothing will be accomplished by sitting around!' she repeats in her mind.

Turning the corner she runs up the stairs, tripping once but getting back up and continuing. Pushing open the front door Kagome falls to her knees, bending over to catch her breathe.

"Are you all right, Kagome?"

"Yes…mom…" She says between breathes.

She stands up and drags her self to the bathroom throwing her coat on a rail.

"I'm going to take a quick bath, I'm drenched. Ill be back own to eat dinner after ward."

"OK!" her mother replies happily.

Kagome strips out from her wet clothes and draws a hot bath. After she finishes bathing she gets dressed and walks down the stares as if she's staring out into space. She sits down at the table and stares blankly at her warm food on its plate.

'Something warm…' she slowly eats her dinner savoring the last bite. Standing up after everyone's finished Kagome looks down before suddenly shouting.

"I'm going back tonight! Right now!"

Her family looks surprised at her sudden action but after ward say OK and help her get her things together. For the rest of the night Kagome bites her tongue, not saying a word except 'bye, OK, yes and no' she looks down at her shoes, standing in front of the well looking down into it.

'Here we go, back to this place, my second home. No tests, no mom, no little brother, no Hojo, instead Inuyasha, Shippou, Miroku and Sango along with other demons I don't feel like remembering.' She jumps in and lands on the other side just like every other time before.

Climbing up the well she sits down on the edge for a minute, examining the surroundings around her. Suddenly she hears a faint cry coming from the woods. As it gets louder she sees a young girl run out of the trees.

"Kagome-San! Kagome -San!"

Kagome smiles at Rin as she greets her happily.

"Hi Rin, what are you doing out here? Are you all by yourself?"

"Nope! Sesshoumaru is back there, he'll catch up!"

"What are you two doing out here?"

"We are going to the east lords mansion! Sessy hasn't been there in a while so he decided to pay them a visit and he's brought me along! The lord has a little girl that's a little older than me but recently her mother died so she's sad and stuff."

"So you want to go cheer her up?"

"Yes and you can come too! I bet she would love to see you as well as I and Sesshoumaru!"

"I don't know Rin. I mean I'm not sure Sesshoumaru would want me around. And besides Inuyasha would get angry."

"Sessy wants you around! Isn't that right?"

Sesshoumaru and Jaken come out of the woods quietly. Sesshoumaru doesn't reply.

"See! He doesn't mind!"

"But Inuyasha…"

"He won't get mad, I promise!"

"How can you promise that?"

"I just did!"

"…"

"Come with us! Come on it'll be fun! And it'll be a vacation from being around Inuyasha all the time!"

"I don't know…"

"Come on!"

Sesshoumaru passes the two.

"Rin hurry up."

Rin gives Kagome a solemn face.

"Please come with us Kagome-Chan."

Kagome bits her lip but before she can decide Sesshoumaru interrupts them.

"Rin don't force her into coming with us, let her choose, if she doesn't want to come she doesn't have to. I don't care either way."

"But…"

Rin gives Kagome a puppy dog face as a last resort, stopping after noticing the cold glare Sesshoumaru looks at her with for a second.

That's the end of ch.1. I hope it wasn't too boring.

I don't think it is. I mean not a lot happened but… it did get the story going…

Don't worry, the later chapters are better. I promise.

Please review…but no flames please, they make my computer sick. Gives my computer heartburn. (J/k) never mind…just don't give me flames please, but I don't mind u telling me things to make it better. I just don't want the reviews that say "u suck!" When I know they haven't even read the story. It's sad… oh, yeah. I had to rate this R because last time I rated it PG-13 and they took it off because it had the concept of sex, but its not like I got real descriptive about it. You'll see what I mean later. But no its not a lemon, I'm sorry to those u thought it was. Crape I'm taking up space again! See ya!

RR!

Bye!

-.- saquin


	2. ch 2 'getting there'

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha or any other characters of the series! (Why do I have to do this!) But I do own Yumi and her father so back off! J/k!

Hi! Wuzz up! It's almost my birthday! Well not really I still got a month. It's on the 31st of March! I'm having my party at my house this year. It's going to be so cool! I can't wait! Sorry, I'm just…. Excited… I tried to take the spelling mistakes out of this story the best I could! I read it over more than 5 times! Although some would say "that's not enough make it 20!" but I cant read that much sorry. But I can type that much. Yes I love what I do, its fun. Well ttyl!

Enjoy!

Ch.2 ' getting there…'

For a second the decision twirled in her head. Of course she wanted a break from looking for Naraku, and it would be nice to spend time with the girl seeing as the only other mortals besides herself she gets to see are villagers that are running away from Sesshoumaru's wrath.

But what if Inuyasha found out? What would he say, or better put what would he do? She could only imagine his face if he caught her with them. Would he call he a traitor or blow off at her, starting a fight. But finally she made up her mind.

"OK…I guess I could…"

"Yay! Kagome's coming with us!"

Kagome and Rin walk together behind Sesshoumaru and Jaken picking flowers along the way.

Night came quickly and they set camp in a small cave outside of the forest. Tomorrow they would be sleeping in the eastern lord's mansion, with a hot dinner safely tucked away in their stomachs, but for now Kagome shared her ramen and pocky with Rin, who was delighted with the yummy food. After they finish eating Rin lays her head down on Kagome's lap and goes to sleep. Kagome watches the sunset and the moonrise.

Her eyes trace the out line of the moon, trying to carve this moment in her memory she glances over at Sesshoumaru on the other side of the cave, also looking at the sky. ' I wonder what he's thinking about… I wish I could reach in his mind and pull out his thoughts. If only it was that easy. I would've pulled a lot of people's thoughts right out of their mind a long time ago. Mm… the moon it's the same size as the one on his forehead, I kinda wish I had a moon on my forehead. But then again I don't because that would be weird and now that I think of it I don't think I would like any part of myself to be different then it is now. Besides that would be freakish to have something in common in between Sesshoumaru and I…Eh I cant even think because of that!'

Sesshoumaru looks over to her, meeting her gaze. She quickly looks away noticing she had been staring at him for quit some time now. Her face grows slightly red as she turns away laying down, trying to act as if to go to sleep. For the first night with them Kagome sleeps fairly well, waking in the morning to grinning face.

"Lets go, sleepy head!"

"Huh?"

"You're still asleep, sleepy head."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"You wanna bet!"

Kagome pulls Rin down to the ground and messes up her hair. The two giggle as they continue to goof around before Sesshoumaru decides to start to leave. They take their place in the back, running after each other in circles and laughing at the jokes they share. For the moment Kagome completely forgets about Inuyasha as she and Rin enjoy the last mile of walking before being at the destination. They take big steps trying to trip each other along the way for a while then race to a tree or two until one stops to take a quick rest. Soon they can see the castle of the eastern lord, it lies on a rather large hill with a tall iron black gate around it.

Rin and Kagome don't seem to notice it at first as they are still fooling around but soon they straighten their back and prepare to meet the owner of the land. When the front doors open you can see the main hall, with all the servants and generals standing in form. At the doorway a tall man with dark blue hair and a black garment with Silver Star embroidery and light blue eyes stands there to greet Sesshoumaru.

The two act as if old friends, bowing at each other before introducing themselves. Sesshoumaru introduces Rin and Kagome, both of which are smiling joyfully. The man takes Kagome's hand and places a chaste kiss upon it.

"Welcome, young ladies to my humble home. I am Ryonsa lord of the eastern lands. "

Kagome blushes tremendously then bows complimenting him on his fine home. Rin giggles a little at her reaction. Ryonsa moves to the side, revealing a little girl that once hid behind him. The little girl has dark purple hair, light green eyes and wears a light green kimono with a dark green sash and pink sakura blossom embroidery.

"This is my daughter, Yumi. I hope u three will get along."

"I'm sure we will!"

Kagome says still blushing a little from before. Yumi takes Rin and Kagome's hands.

"Lets go, ill show u around."

"OK!"

The girls go off happily while Sesshoumaru and Ryonsa go into the dinning room to catch up. The girls sit down on a bed in the guest room for Kagome.

"So Yumi, what was your mom like? I bet she was great wasn't she?"

"Yes, my mother had hair and eyes like me but she was not as clumsy as I can be. She loved to take me on walks around the lands with her. And I remember she had a kind sweet voice that could make the toughest demon burst out in tears if she told them a sad story."

"Wow, that sounds cool I wish I could be able to do that!"

"Yeah, what was your mother like Rin?"

"I don't remember very well. She died a time ago, I didn't really know her that well." (Rin just doesn't want to talk about it!)

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"No its OK! I don't mind!"

"OK…Kagome what is your mom like!"

Kagome looks at the two confused. (She was daydreaming!)

"What's your mom like?"

"Oh! She's nice and is such a great cook! She's always looking out for everyone, she's the one that keeps the house in order and stops everything form going ballistic, but mostly she the main source of warmth in the house. She's always smiling no matter what. I guess I admire her for that."

The three girls smile at one another, then Yumi gets out a game and they start to play.

End of chappie two! This is (I plan…) to be the shortest chapter I make hopefully.

Well for this story anyway! . I'll try to make these things longer cause its no fun being short.

Hadico: I know a short guy! Yes, he's very sweet…

Takun: yeah, u probably screw him!

Hadico: I did not! Shut up, u know nothing!

Tsaku: both of u shut up…

Takun and Hadico: no!

Tsaku: whatever…

Takun: now where were we?

Hadico: but yeah, he's nice and doesn't make fun of people plus he's really cute, I went out with him once but it was never mean to be.

Takun: that's cause no one wants to be!

Hadico: shut up we were in high school! And in love!

Takun: that's not love … its sex…

(Hadico chases after Takun with a giant sword. While Tsaku sits in his chair smoking calmly.)

R and R. c ya!

.- saquin


	3. ch 3 'poison'

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha you all should know that by now. .

Hi, I'm in love with this song, I don't know its name or who made it, I just like it! So peaceful yet deathful. Is there such a word? 'Deathful' there should be, here it is in a dictionary:

(Vrb) deathful (adj.) 1: the act of liking and expressing death and related topics. _The boy was deathfulling at the meeting. _2: (adj.) to be deathful in ur being. _The deathful girl spread her ideas of hate around the school._

Forget it… it was worthless information. You shouldn't have read it. I shouldn't have written it. But I had good intentions…I promise.

Enjoy!

Ch.3 'poison'

Meanwhile, Ryonsa takes a drink from his teacup on the table.

"So what's with that girl, you know the older one. You told me about Rin already. So why is that older girl here?"

"She baby-sits Rin at times, she's not that important."

"She smells of Inuyasha, why is that?"

"She's his wench."

"Oh I see. So why do you let her live?"

"I don't see any real reason to kill her, she gets along well with Rin and if I did kill her Rin would be upset."

"Yes, but isn't she an ally to Inuyasha, isn't that reason enough to destroy her?"

"I want to kill Inuyasha, why would I care if she lived or not. If she gets in my way I'll cut her down, if she stays back what do I care if she walks the earth?"

"But if you murdered her it would be a terrible blow to his pride."

"So, I do not care for his pride."

"Sesshoumaru, you're hard to figure out."

"…"

"You know she is not bad for a mortal, I'm sure you have noticed that."

"Perhaps…she is a reincarnation from what I understand though."

"How do you know that?"

"Inuyasha loved another mortal before her, after she died she was brought back to life with a body of clay, as the rumors say. The essence of that priestess he loved and that woman is very similar. Although they are not the same."

"Wow, how close attention you have been paying to them."

Sesshoumaru glares at him coldly.

"Just kidding! But seriously why do you let her follow you around?"

" Why do I care where she goes, its her choice to come along as it is her choice to leave .how is Yumi copping?"

"Huh?"

"With her mother being gone?"

"Oh, she's not as talkative as she used to be, but I think Rin being here is helping her warm up to being with out her mother."

"Hm…"

The guys go down stairs to have dinner, later the three girls run in together, accompanying them. After dinner, Kagome goes in her room and gets dressed for bed.

'I wonder if Inuyasha has noticed that I'm not there. How can I keep thinking of that! While I'm here why cant I think about something else? Why is he always on my mind!' she lays down in her bed and turns off the light. Tossing and turning in her bed, Kagome turns to one side looking out the balcony window. Silver stars glow on the dark blue background; Kagome gets out of her bed and walks over to the window touching the glass with her hands.

She shivers at the sudden coldness of the glass but opens it and walks out leaning on the railing staring out into space. ' The moon its so…thin. That's the thinnest crescent moon I think I've ever seen, it's so beautiful.' Breathing in the cool night air she turns her head to see Sesshoumaru on his balcony looking out at the stars.

'Sesshoumaru…and he has his shirt off…what's he doing out here? You know he doesn't look all that scary when he's no trying to kill some one. And he doesn't look half-bad there, standing in the moonlight…AHH! WHAT AM I THINKING? STOP IT! STOP IT! NO! NO! STOP THINKING THAT! He's ugly! He's ugly! Stop thinking things like that! God!' Kagome suddenly notices he was staring at her for a little while.

She blushes a little bit and tries to look away hoping he turns around and goes back inside, because she's afraid if she tries to go back that she'll trip over herself. He turns around facing his door, given her last quick glance before he goes inside. She sinks to the ground, leaning up against the balcony railings.

"Why did I do that?"

' I could've said something. Now I feel just stupid. Oh well even if I did say something to him he'd probably just say something mean back or better yet cut off my head. What is wrong with me? I'm thinking all wrong I should just stop and go home right now.' Kagome walks into her room plopping down on her bed.

"Maybe I should just go home. What would it make a difference, if I was here anyway?"

The thought lingers in her mind until she drifts off into sleep. The next morning Kagome feels a push at her shoulder; she opens her eyes to a maid looking down on her.

"Miss, it is time to wake up. Breakfast is already ready and it would be a shame if you were to be late."

"Umm… OK. I'm up."

Kagome falls out off her bed and stumbles to get dressed. After she finishes getting dressed she goes down stair to eat. Sitting down at the table there is a heavy silence as they wait for the two girls to come. After eating the three decide to leave for home. Yumi and Ryonsa watch them leave, waving good bye.

"Daddy?"

"Yes."

"May I go with Rin and Sesshoumaru and stay with them for a while?"

"If you can catch up to them."

" Thanks! I love you! Bye! I'll be back!"

Rin waits for Yumi as she races for her. Sesshoumaru waits for the two from a distance away with Kagome slightly in front of him. As they walk back Yumi and Rin take the rear Jaken and Ah Un are in the middle as Kagome follows Sesshoumaru slightly behind him.

'That's nice that Yumi's coming along, but I think when we get near the village I want to go back. I don't want to be gone for too long, Inuyasha will get suspicious and besides it's already been three days and maybe five by the time we get back there. I don't feel right around him, it feels wrong…when I'm standing next to Sesshoumaru even though I know its only because I am following him. I feel as if I'm not being true to Inuyasha. What if he saw me walking around with them? What would he say? I know what he'd say and do. He'd get in a fight with Sesshoumaru although for now reason and not let me here the end with it, even though its no big deal. But I have to admit, I do feel a bit…safe…well as safe as safe gets around Sesshoumaru that is. I'm only worried about him turning around and killing me (that's why I'm being quit.) but I cant say I'm really worried about sleeping when he's awake at night and getting attacked by a demon. Does he even sleep? I haven't seen him, I wonder if he has to sleep…maybe he doesn't have to sleep as much as other people. And I wonder where he got those marks on his face. I mean Inuyasha doesn't have them, so it makes me wonder what Sesshoumaru's mother must have looked like. I wonder if she was as collected and cold as he is.'

"Why do you stay with Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru says, breaking the silence.

"Huh! Umm…I…"

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"…OK…"

'I couldn't even say anything to him! How pathetic can I get! I can curse him out when were on the battlefield! Why can't I say anything to him now? Every time I try to talk to him, I chock. I cant talk, I can't breath I feel like someone's strangling me, like he's strangling me.'

They walk along a river, the two little girls skipping rocks in the water as they walk. After a while they camp at a cave behind a waterfall. Sesshoumaru looks off into the distant sky. ' That girl, I wonder what's on her mind. She seems so care free at times but once in a while she looks like she's suffering inside. As if, something is eating away at her soul. I can't stop but think if it has anything to do with Inuyasha and her position with him. I never thought about it before but maybe she doubts herself. May be she doubts her life.' Rin and Yumi splash around in the water, trying to catch fish.

Kagome sits with her knees pulled up to her chest, hugging them in a daze. Sesshoumaru sits on the opposite side of the cave leaning up against the wall, looking out at the land beyond. The wind blows quietly threw the cave causing Kagome's hair to flow to one side. She lies down beside the fire on a small blanket and closes her eyes. 'Right now, I think I'm perfectly happy, I'm not cold, I'm not in danger (unless I give Sesshoumaru a reason for killing me!), I'm relaxed and I don't think I could be anymore happier in this world even if Inuyasha was here instead of his brother. Maybe …if I could some how be able to…I could stay home for a little while longer than usual … and get a nice long break from this life of travel…but I don't think Inuyasha would let me…no I know he wouldn't. I wish I could be a little kid again, that way I didn't have to do all this and worry about everything. But then if I were wouldn't I have to grow back up again? And if I did, then I wonder if my memories would be different. Would I forget times before and only remember the new? This is crazy, why am I thinking this? There's no use in trying… to… forget…' Kagome drifts off into a pleasant sleep just as the sun sets across the sky.

A gently ray of sunshine beats down on Kagome's face, making her eyes flutter open before she can be waked by the girls. She smells the air that carries the scent of burnt wood, which was in the spot in front of her. Rin holds out her hand, smiling as she helps her up. Sesshoumaru is already out of the cave Jaken running after him with Ah Un. The three girls rush to catch up as well, Yumi tripping over her kimono on the way. This time the girls walk together, occasionally throwing flowers and leaves at each other and chasing one another around until one gets tired and has to stop.

The wind blows some leaves off the trees, making a leaf fall on Kagome's head. She combs threw her hair, pulling out the leaf and holding it in her hand. Suddenly they reach the top of the hill and look below, at the breath taking view. The wind, blowing the leaves around the small river and through the bamboo surrounding it. They continue to walk on, almost too soon it is sun down, but since they are so close to home Sesshoumaru decides to keep walking until they get there. Passing the village Kagome suddenly stops, looking through the trees to the tiny gathering of houses beyond.

"I think…I should go now…"

Everyone turns around, some looking rather surprise than others. Rin runs over to her followed by Yumi.

"But you can't leave!"

"I…"

Sesshoumaru stands behind them calmly, then speaks as a hush spreads over the land.

"Rin I think that's enough, its her choice if she would rather leave. You can't make her stay."

"But you can!"

"…Rin…"

End of chapter three. The title didn't go with the chapter. But who ever said it had to? I'd like to meet them, along with the person who created grammar. Cause grammar has never been on my side, its out to destroy me. I swear. Please review, it makes me smile.

C ya!

.-saquin


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